An Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style

An anxious preoccupied attachment style or preoccupied attachment style describes when a partner is worried about the relationship. People with anxious preoccupied attachment focus on the outcome of the relationship rather than the romantic connection.

How The Attachment Style Develops

An anxious attachment style develops from inconsistent parenting. An inconsistent parenting pattern involves correcting a child when they make a mistake and ignoring them when they repeat the mistake another day. Children from overbearing parents are also more likely to develop anxious preoccupied attachment. When a parent is overbearing, the child can become fearful and avoidant in the future.

Common Signs

  • You constantly need to be assured in the relationship
  • You constantly doubt if your boo is truly in love with you
  • You become jealously when your partner talks to other people of the opposite sex
  • You feel insecure when your boo is not around you

Dating Someone with An Anxious Attachment Style

Speak the language They understand

Have you heard of the 5 languages? The five love languages (Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, or physical touch) are originally from a 1992 book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Your Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. It is believed that we all have a love language. If your partner has an anxious attachment style, it is best to speak the language they understand.

Constantly Assure Them

While this may sound exhausting, it is one of the best ways to keep your relationship with someone with an anxious attachment style. Text or call them frequently to let them know how you feel and clear their doubts.

MS, University of Tartu
Sleep specialist

Using the acquired academic and professional experience, I advise patients with various complaints about mental health - depressed mood, nervousness, lack of energy and interest, sleep disorders, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts and anxieties, difficulty concentrating, and stress. In my free time, I love to paint and go on long walks on the beach. One of my latest obsessions is sudoku – a wonderful activity to calm an unease mind.

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