For many women clitoral stimulation resulting in clitoral orgasm is the regular, reliable way they achieve their orgasms. Some women may struggle to reach orgasm at all but with all the sex toys and freely available advice about sex and clitoral stimulation available now, it shouldn’t be too difficult for most women to learn to achieve this.
Other types of orgasm, such as vaginal, G-spot, whole body and anal can be more mysterious and harder to achieve – some people doubt if they even exist.
Today we will focus on anal orgasm. Is it a myth? How can we achieve one?
Some people say that an orgasm is defined as ‘anal’, ‘vaginal’ or ‘clitoral’ depending on which area of the body is being stimulated to produce it, as opposed to where the orgasm is felt in the body. By this definition, an anal orgasm is perfectly possible as you might cum purely through the excitement of having your anus stimulated or fucked.
Alternatively, it might be that it is possible for you to orgasm during anal sex through G-spot stimulation, i.e. the penis is angled inside your body to indirectly stimulate your G-spot (on the front wall of your vagina). Some women can even ‘squirt’ (expel liquid from the vagina) this way, either with or without vaginal and clitoral stimulation accompanying the anal sex.
If you are looking to take a more Tantric ‘whole body’ approach to orgasm, it is thought that it is possible for all body parts to respond in an orgasmic way, (pleasant waves of muscle contraction that accompany feelings of release), and this could include the anal area.
When incorporating anal play into your sexual repertoire, the most important thing to focus on is making sure you are relaxed and being gentle with your body. The skin around the anus is sensitive and not designed to stretch like the vagina so can be damaged fairly easily.
Lube, lube, lube and re-lube yourself when engaging in anal play. The rule for lube is: ON, NOT IN. Pour lube on to whatever is going to be doing the penetrating, not into any orifice.
Start by experimenting with anilingus (licking they anus) or gently stroking the outside of the anus with fingers or a toy. Any penetrative items should be introduced gently and slowly, building up to larger sized objects or a penis if you are comfortable.
If you stimulate yourself or your partner slowly so that the anus is properly aroused, there should come a point at which the anal sphincter muscles relax, sometimes called the ‘pop’ (nothing actually pops!), and larger objects can be introduced. Some people particularly enjoy this ‘pop’ moment which can be repeated and highlighted using anal beads.
Once you are comfortable and experienced with anal play you will understand a lot more about what suits your body and how much intensity you enjoy, plus your muscles will learn to relax more quickly than they will do initially, but certainly at the beginning proceed carefully.
Anal orgasms should come from an enjoyment of incorporating the anus into sex play, whether accompanied by other stimulation or not, and are there for you to enjoy should you wish. Just don’t forget the lube!