Competitions For Your Genitals

Competitions For Your Genitals

It’s no secret that much of a man’s pride rests between his legs, so it should come as no surprise to you to learn that Taiwan plays host to penis weightlifting competitions. Masters of Qigong happily swing heavy weights from their schlongs to demonstrate their penile prowess, even going so far as to pull ten-ton vehicles with their erections. Superhuman members aside, the realm of competitive genitalia isn’t limited to my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours competitions. In fact, it’s not limited solely to men either!

For instance, it may surprise you to learn that Tatiata Kozhevnikova is the proud owner of the world’s strongest vagina. If in doubt, Guinness World Records would be happy to confirm it for you. In fact they crowned this rather intimidating Russian woman the Queen of the Vaginas after she lifted a custom barbell made of two glass balls, weighing roughly 31lbs in total. From powerful to pretty, the Annual Vagina Beauty Pageant is held at Club Rouge in Portland, Oregon, where the most gorgeous snatch wins $500!

Back to man-bits, the Danish website recently decided to host a small penis competition to reward those on the less favourable end of traditional male superiority. Site owner Morten Fabricus is quoted as saying “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.” In that spirit, men can enter anonymous photos until January 31, with the smallest schlong earning its owner an iPad.

But this is all so tame! These are genitalia we’re talking about after all! With that in mind, men can demonstrate their stamina and women prove their lustiness by entering the masturbate-a-thon, a charity drive that’s been raising funds for women’s health initiatives since 2006. Sporting the appropriate slogan of “come for a cause”, this risqué event sees men and women walking off with trophies for the longest distance ejaculated, the most consecutive orgasms and the longest time spent masturbating. Currently pornstar Sonny Nash holds the record for the single longest wank session, clocking in at ten hours and ten minutes!

If that wasn’t quite enough for you, you might want to consider entering the Air Sex Championships. Yes you read correctly. Much like the air guitar championships, only friskier, this…unique event gives contestants two minutes to simulate sex with the abundant oxygen all around them. Believe me, there have been some truly impressive displays.

Ieva Kubiliute

Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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