Ease Up On The Crazy

Ease Up On The Crazy

Most guys have a story about that one crazy ex who was so convinced that he was cheating that she angsted herself right out of the relationship. Why have so many guys been on the receiving end of the crazy? No, it’s not time to board the magic bus of misogyny; it’s time to talk about bad relationship advice from Cosmo magazine.

Relationship advice is very touch-and-go at the best of times; what works for one couple could ruin another. But some things just make no sense, no matter how you look at them. For one thing, ladies, would you consider your man being happy as a sign of cheating? Cosmo thinks you should.

Quoting Mira Kirshenbaum, this writer affirms that ‘If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.

Talk about assuming the worst! Just because he seems a bit perkier than usual is no reason to make a 400m conclusion jump. Even if you’re not assuming that his newfound bounce is thanks to getting some on the side, adopting this kind of private eye attitude to relationships is downright unhealthy. It’s the kind of paranoia that will put you straight into a future crazy ex story.

Here’s another gem: This time quoting Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist, our author tells us that a guy who’s stepping up his grooming is a cheater.

‘ ‘This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked, says Vranich Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym.’

This one really bugs me as I’ve encouraged guys across several articles to freshen up and get in shape for their girlfriends. A sweaty, unshaven, unfit homeboy is no one’s cup of tea and can hardly expect his lady to stay smooth and desirable while he’s slobbing it up. Now Cosmo is telling women that should a man decide to clean up his act it must be because he’s cheating.

But perhaps he just wants to rekindle your sex life? No, apparently that’s also a red flag. According to Cosmo: ”a sudden surge in his sexual appetite can also be a sign that something’s awry. ‘A man who’s hiding something won’t want to connect emotionally through conversation because he’s afraid if he does, he’ll spill the secret,” says Krista Bloom.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, this kind of bad advice encourages paranoia on a new level.

Considering how many women take the word of Cosmo as gospel, this kind of advice is damn near dangerous, especially when it’s paired with lengthy lists of cheating boyfriend revenge ideas. Adding a bit of insult to injury, a poor fellow is likely to find chilli powder in his boxers, or laxative in his brownies. Sorry ladies, but if you take advice like this to heart he’s got the right to say whatever he likes once it’s over.

Latest posts by Nataly Komova (see all)

Nutritionist. Bluffton University, MS

In today's world, people's eating and exercise patterns have changed, and it is often lifestyle that is the cause of many diet-related illnesses. I believe that each of us is unique – what works for one does not help another. What is more, it can even be harmful. I am interested in food psychology, which studies a person's relationship with their body and food, explains our choices and desires for specific products, the difficulty of maintaining optimal body weight, as well as the influence of various internal and external factors on appetite. I'm also an avid vintage car collector, and currently, I'm working on my 1993 W124 Mercedes. You may have stumbled upon articles I have been featured in, for example, in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Grazia, Women's Health, The Guardian, and others.

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