Faking Orgasms: The What, How And Why

Faking Orgasms: The What, How And Why

Orgasms are the Holy Grail of sex. There is an almost cult-like worship of the orgasm, with an international whispered fascination of the moment appearing in books, on film and in images. There is even has a website dedicated to the moment of le petit mort which showcases video galleries of contorted and delighted faces: Beautiful Agony.

Perhaps it’s this fascination with the orgasm that makes it such an integral part of sex. Men and women strive towards it and see it as the reward at the end of a love-making session. So why would you fake it? What drives a woman to impersonate this release? And why do men believe it?

The How: the male orgasm holds few surprises: it’s an explosive act that leaves a sticky white residue of evidence… as long as you’re planning ejaculating somewhere where your partner can see or feel it.

With women, however, orgasms are not so text-book. There are different types of orgasms, different intensities, multiple and single orgasms, wet orgasms, whimpering orgasms, screaming orgasms – and more. It’s not difficult to pick one out and put on a good show complete with kegel contractions to convince your partner that you’re in the throes of ecstasy.

The Why: for many men, making your woman cum is the ultimate show of manliness. It gives them a sub-conscious ego boost that can send them over the edge – this is all because of you and your skilful love-making! It tells them.

And we’re sensitive folk, women. We don’t want to hurt your ego or stop you from feeling good. Sometimes, we’re not going to cum. It’s just not going to happen. Sometimes we’re tired and suddenly just not that into it. Faking an orgasm will boost your confidence, send you over the edge, and be done with it all.

Think of it like a little white lie. We don’t want to offend you or hurt you; we’re just not that into it.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not only women who fake orgasms. A 2007 poll reported that 50% of men had faked an orgasm, compared to the 82% of women who had confirmed the same. According to the report, ‘(M)any of the reasons men fake orgasms are similar to those of women: they are tired, they just want to be done, or they just aren’t into sex that particular night.’ The men in question reported that they just use a condom to hide the evidence.

Barbara Santini

Barbara is a freelance writer and a sex and relationships adviser at Dimepiece LA and Peaches and Screams. Barbara is involved in various educational initiatives aimed at making sex advice more accessible to everyone and breaking stigmas around sex across various cultural communities. In her spare time, Barbara enjoys trawling through vintage markets in Brick Lane, exploring new places, painting and reading.

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