First Date Nerves

First Date Nerves

Many more people, regardless of their ages, are finding themselves in the dating scene. With divorces reaching almost epidemic proportions, even long term stable marriages are ending and people are entering back into that abyss having thought that they would never be in a situation like that again.

It can certainly be unnerving to end up in a place that you were in back in your teen years, even after ten, twenty, thirty years or more. And with that kind of time span, you will certainly find out really quickly that things have changed dramatically. It’s almost like living on a whole new planet whereby nobody is really aware of the ‘dating’ rules anymore.

Back in the day, we meet high school sweethearts, house parties always boasted a cute guy in the corner worth chatting with. These days, house parties seem to have gone by the wayside, friends seem way too gun shy to play matchmaker anymore which is a true loss to a lot of great relationships that were born that way, and hanging at bars sneaking glances across the room is just too sketchy and there is way too much younger, cuter competition to even bother with.

So getting first date nerves means at least being able to score a first date in the first place! But let’s say whether it’s from a soirée into the online dating scene, or a resurgence of the ‘meet in the veggie isle’ that you have scored a ‘first date’, now what?

First of all, congratulations for putting yourself out there. That is one of the hardest and most critical first steps. But once you find yourself agreeing to that nerve wracking meet, now what? Where did the rule book go? What do you wear? What do you say or not say? How much of yourself do you disclose? How do you get through it without a few shots, which by the way, are never a good thing to do before or during a first date!

Getting ready for that first date can be very unsettling there is no doubt about it, but here is what always gets me through it. Why not look it as a ‘possibility?’ I always view first dates as that possibility of, what if? Every single first meet or first date could very well lead into a second, then a third, then the next thing you know it’s been four years.

Every single man who you engage with, well except the obvious no-gos, could just be the one for you. That one man that you agree to meet for coffee or stroll in the park could end up being the one that you fall head over heels for you just never know.

So every time I’m primping and worrying about my hair or if my butt looks fat in those jeans, I just smile to myself and say, this could be it – my last first date. And somehow that makes all the nerves and stress and worries seem worth it all.

Can’t wait for my next one!

Barbara Santini

Barbara is a freelance writer and a sex and relationships adviser at Dimepiece LA and Peaches and Screams. Barbara is involved in various educational initiatives aimed at making sex advice more accessible to everyone and breaking stigmas around sex across various cultural communities. In her spare time, Barbara enjoys trawling through vintage markets in Brick Lane, exploring new places, painting and reading.

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