Meet Girl on the Net: she’s an anonymous twenty something self proclaimed pervert who writes a sex blog that is, frankly, brilliant. She writes about fetish clubs and masturbation, hooking up with boys and playing with toys. She writes about sexual encounters and feminist rants. And now, she’s written a book.
Girl on the Net: My Not So Shameful Sex Secrets is a homage to female sexuality. ‘I’d like to add a teeny tiny extra voice to the horde of women screaming ‘WE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS.’,’ Girl on the Net writes. ‘Women have come pretty far in terms of sexual liberation, but it still seems far more acceptable for guys to moan about how little head they’re getting than for girls to wish they had a dick to suck.’
It’s not all playful banter and cheeky sexuality either; she writes about issues that matter. To give you an idea that may pre empt your need for her new book: in one blog post, she writes an unsettlingly familiar and moving piece about swinger parties and politeness. When you’re in a sexually social situation and you don’t want to engage in swinger antics with someone who is making unvoiced and rather strong advances towards your rear end – what do you do? GOTN’s problem was the same as most people’s: she’s just too damn polite. She couldn’t tell the stranger that she didn’t want him because she had put herself into this situation.
‘The ache in my stomach at the idea of saying ‘I’m sorry, I just don’t fancy you.’ The panic that my ‘no’ will resonate throughout the crowd, like throwing a stink bomb into the middle of a fun party. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be fucked by a stranger, I just didn’t want this stranger – with his semi flaccid cock and three day old stink and his dirty t shirt pulled up to his chest. I didn’t want him, but I couldn’t say.’
Her solution? After attempting to get her partner to help out, she was left to figure things out for herself. She whipped around, gave him a blowjob which ended badly, and sent him on his merry way. There is no such thing as amateur swinging, she concluded.
This is the style of writing which is both captivating and gripping that identifies GOTN’s voice. She’s open and honest, graphic and blunt. She tells it as it is, and often, it isn’t pretty. But that’s the whole point of human sexuality and particularly female sexuality: we don’t have to gloss over our inclinations and desires to fit into a pre scripted dialogue.
And that’s probably why her brand new book begins with the line:
I didn’t listen to the lyrics of ‘Teenage Kicks’ because I was far too busy masturbating.
For £4.20 on Kindle, I can’t wait to read it.
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