1. Knowing how to support a friend going through pregnancy loss can be difficult. How do you know when to offer support and when not to give space? When is it appropriate to share information about your own experiences? Should you give them a gift/meals?

I always advise people to do it immediately they get the information about such a loss. If you are wondering how helpful and supportive you can be, or when, it is best to contact the person and find out by asking what they need or what they do not need. For instance, ask to know if they are comfortable to share the experience at that time, later, or not at all. If they are ready to talk about it, then this is the best time to give your experience too. But be careful about your wording to avoid any provocations. You can find out if they are willing to attend counseling sessions funded by you or offer meals and take care of house duties.

 2. What are some things/actionable steps that you SHOULD do for a friend in need? Please be specific and share fresh ideas, beyond just “be there for them,” etc.

Gift them

Gifting a friend who has lost a pregnancy is not similar to the usual gifts in an occasion. It should be something for remembrance, such as, a support handout for infant loss or a miscarriage comfort box.

Send a card

Find a supportive card from psychologists, such as, Dr. Jessica Zucker. You will know more about her experience with pregnancy loss and how to go about it.

3. What are some things it’s best NOT to do?

I recommend you avoid the following phrases, which may appear as though you are rationalizing the loss or making it come out as positive. For example;

  • ‘Everything happens for a reason’
  • ‘It was possibly for the best’
  • ‘You are still young’
  • ‘At least you have more children’

Also, do not leave out the father, please be sensitive and acknowledge thatthe loss belongs to him too.

Anastasia Filipenko

Anastasia Filipenko is a health and wellness psychologist, dermatolist and a freelance writer. She frequently covers beauty and skincare, food trends and nutrition, health and fitness and relationships. When she's not trying out new skincare products, you'll find her taking a cycling class, doing yoga, reading in the park, or trying a new recipe.

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