Is it True Love or Just Lust?

Is it True Love or Just Lust?

Normally when an article has this header it’s directed towards teenagers who desperately want to know if their crush really loves them, however as adult daters we can also be quite confused as to the feelings of our object of interest as modern day living, step families and complicated ex’s blur the boundaries making us wonder if this really is true love or just a passing phase.

There are some signs to look out for so you can determine not only the feelings of your lover, but the feelings of yourself. When many over 30 women already have a divorce under their belt, the old legend of “knowing that he’s the one” no longer seems to apply.

A lot of people place an emphasis on trust; however without respect trust is invalid. A person that loves you will show oodles of respect either through their treatment of you in front of friends and family, or through their actions when you’re not around. Even a man who has a wandering eye can be trusted as long as he has respect for his partner, as although thoughts may enter his head about infidelity, his respect for you will stop him putting any plans into action. In step families this is even more important as if you treat him with respect and vice versa the children are more likely to follow suit.

Does your partner try to put himself in your shoes when making decisions such as a night on the town with the lads versus a cosy night in? If you automatically feel his pain and vice versa you can bet you’re in a true love relationship!

True love doesn’t mean agreeing on everything, in fact the opposite can be true, as someone who agrees to keep the peace will only keep up the charade so long before they explode leaving their partner wondering where this imposter came from. If you can discuss different opinions without losing your temper or deciding it’s the end of a relationship, you’ll go a long way, as the longest relationships actually embrace the difference of opinion, learning something new every time whilst agreeing to disagree.

Forsaking All Others
It’s one thing to say the vows and mean them at the time, but a few years down the line are you looking for greener grass on the other side of the fence? True love between couples accepts that you both may find others attractive however the feelings rarely travel deeper than that. The simple reason being you know no matter how scrumptious or delectable the other party may seem you know you could never find another that understands you, adores you and treats you as well as your partner does.

The Future
When you picture the future what do you see? Do you imagine trading your partner in for another model or are you looking forward to their hair turning grey and sharing a glass for your dentures? True love is more than skin deep as their whole being makes you attracted to them and not just the state of their sixpack.

Kristina Shafarenko

Kristina Shafarenko is a relationship and health and wellness psychologist and a part-time freelance lifestyle writer covering health and fitness, sex, sexual wellness, and relationships. When she's not writing, you can find her planning her next getaway, taste-testing every coffee spot in sight, and lounging at home with her cat, Buddy.

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