Mumsnet Spoof: Vajazzling: Theory and Practice

Mumsnet Spoof: Vajazzling: Theory and Practice

Mumsnet is well known for being the premium go-to source for mums who want to learn, grow and find out more about being a mum in the company of other computer-savvy mums. They offer reviews, advice and recipes – and the Mumsnet academy is home to courses like Art History: A Renaissance Weekend and Garden Design Course with Dawn Isaac.

You can imagine the surprise and chortles of laughter when the Mumsnet site released their latest course: Vajazzling: Theory and Practice on April 1, 2013.

And why would you want to attend this course? Mumsnet explains: ‘In those initial topsy-turvy days after childbirth, simply finding the time to shower, never mind to put on make up can feel like an impossible challenge. Making time to return to your pre-parenthood personal grooming regime is therefore a key act of reclamation for many mothers. If you’ve let things slide since becoming a mum, make sure you don’t miss out on the latest fantastic offering from the Mumsnet Academy.”

Because all of us vajazzled pre-parenthood.

Attendees on this course can expect a ‘two-hour exhibition with cutting-edge vajazzler Dr Flora Pisol MBE, whose contributions to the field have earned her the recognition of a raft of well-known public figures including model Katie Price, the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, and Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, Ed Balls.”

If that’s not enough to tempt you into the vajazzling arena, perhaps you’ll be intrigued to learn that after a day of intensive history, practical information and hands-on vajazzling, the workshop will finish on a high with a ‘keynote speech from Towie star and self-confessed ‘vajazzle junkie” Amy Childs on the semiotics of personal adornment in the arena of contemporary motherhood.”

Sound good? You’ll be expected to have taken some time out of your busy parenting schedule to return to one aspect of your pre-parenting personal grooming regime. Part of the course requirements stipulate that ‘You will be expected to have been fully waxed in advance (while all grooming choices are respected, shavers need not apply).”

This April Fool’s Joke got the Mumsnet Forums in hysterical fits of laughter as it inspired a lengthy discussion about glitter and accidental vajazzling. It seems that the Mumsnet community is not quite ready for glitter on their nether regions.

‘Subject to interest,” the spoof continued, ‘classes on DIY tattooing, piercing and scarification are in development for 2014.”

Elena Ognivtseva
Latest posts by Elena Ognivtseva (see all)

Nutritionist, Cornell University, MS

I believe that nutrition science is a wonderful helper both for the preventive improvement of health and adjunctive therapy in treatment. My goal is to help people improve their health and well-being without torturing themselves with unnecessary dietary restrictions. I am a supporter of a healthy lifestyle – I play sports, cycle, and swim in the lake all year round. With my work, I have been featured in Vice, Country Living, Harrods magazine, Daily Telegraph, Grazia, Women's Health, and other media outlets.

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