Oprah doesn’t just talk about books

Oprah doesn’t just talk about books

The Oprah Winfrey show has been one of the most successful talk shows of all times, and Oprah herself is perhaps one of the most influential (not to mention wealthy) women in America. When she talks, people listen. If she likes a book, it becomes a best seller. If she likes a politician, he or she gets elected. And if she talks about sex, people have more orgasms.

In one episode when Oprah had sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman as a guest, the two had a great discussion that no doubt led to more enthusiastic bedroom encounters from coast to coast. Dr. Laura speaks plainly about what needs to be done to have a better sex life and it’s refreshing – and necessary to do so

According to Dr. Laura, it all comes down to four simple steps: Tell the truth, ask for what you want, let go of negative messages, and see your doctor. Yes, it’s really that easy. The “ask for what you want” part is especially important, and deceptively simple. It seems obvious, but we tend to be too timid about asking for what we want, and what we want often goes unsaid. The result is an unfulfilling sex life.

We’re afraid to ask, because we’re afraid our partner might think we’re weird, they might refuse us, or might react negatively. In fact, most time they won’t. You never know unless you ask! How many men have spent their whole lives thinking about a schoolgirl fantasy, but have never had enough courage to ask their loved one to put on that sexy schoolgirl uniform in the bedroom? How many women have wanted their men to experiment with different positions, but have just resigned themselves to the same-old same-old? How many times have you wondered whether bringing some sex toys into the bedroom might feel good, but were afraid to make the suggestion? Too many of us are missing out because we’re afraid to ask. Dr. Laura’s advice: ask for what you want – is perhaps the best piece of sex advice ever to be uttered. Ask for it – and you might just be surprised at the outcome!

The other three points are equally useful. What about those negative messages? Those can be the most harmful of all. We tend to listen too much to the media, to our peers, and to our own preconceived notions about beauty, appearance, and sexuality, and too often, those notions are all wrong. Maybe we’re inhibited about sex because we think we’re too fat – but in reality, our guys like us a little Rubenesque. Or negative messages about sex in general – we may pay far too much attention to old fashion notions about sexuality, and live our lives under the illusion that it’s somehow wrong to enjoy it, or wrong to experiment with it in ways that please us but may be a little out of the ordinary. A little openness can go a long way. Try things out, you might just found out your sex life will improve ten fold!

Charlotte Cremers
Latest posts by Charlotte Cremers (see all)

MS, University of Tartu
Sleep specialist

Using the acquired academic and professional experience, I advise patients with various complaints about mental health - depressed mood, nervousness, lack of energy and interest, sleep disorders, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts and anxieties, difficulty concentrating, and stress. In my free time, I love to paint and go on long walks on the beach. One of my latest obsessions is sudoku – a wonderful activity to calm an unease mind.

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