PEOPLE THAT PRETEND TO BE "NICE"

PEOPLE THAT PRETEND TO BE “NICE”

I had a friend at college and she was the nicest person to ever come in my life. She was kind and understanding. We shared our past stories and each of us had the deepest history of the other. I knew her as an orphan whose growing up was horrible until she was adopted. I liked her because she was helpful and caring. However, I came to realize that almost everything she shared was a lie. I could not believe her pretense for all that long. We later parted ways after confronting her and she was sorry. That is how I noticed how manipulative she was through her ‘niceness’. Always looking for convincing means to get favors because she was ‘needy’. I also learnt that such people play the victim intending you to feel sorry to connect to them more. They also like using the phrase, ‘I’m joking’ after knowing you got hurt from their comment. In my case, this friend made me feel guilty most of the time. She always made me appear the bad one whenever we had a disagreement. But I could not figure out how manipulative it was even after getting warned by others because I believed her.

What to do if a guy doesn’t turn out to be nice

I advise my clients to do the below;

  • Keep your distance and reduce your online engagement by staying on mute mode.
  • If you must interact with them, talk less by keeping your conversations short.
  • Approach them and talk about it with care and sincerity. Please avoid anger and judgement.
  • As you keep your distance, ensure to increase interest in other friends in your circle. It may help them reduce their bad actions.
Barbara Santini

Barbara is a freelance writer and a sex and relationships adviser at Dimepiece LA and Peaches and Screams. Barbara is involved in various educational initiatives aimed at making sex advice more accessible to everyone and breaking stigmas around sex across various cultural communities. In her spare time, Barbara enjoys trawling through vintage markets in Brick Lane, exploring new places, painting and reading.

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