Whatever your opinions on modern art may be, you’ll have to admit that this guy gets points for originality. A resident of the Australian Gold Coast, Tim Patch, or “Pricasso” as he’s come to be known has earned himself a fair bit of infamy for his rather unique methods of artistry. Stripping down to nothing more than his boots and a silver top hat that would make the mad hatter proud, Patch whips out his schlong and creates surprisingly excellent paintings.
This matchless art method first occurred to Patch in a public bathroom when he was struck by the notion to pee a smiley face on the wall. After that, a quick purchase of painting materials and an afternoon of experimentation was all it took to give rise (pun intended) to his creative genius. As Patch himself well noted, it would take a while to get as good at painting with his cock as other artists are with a brush, but “if you could get really good at painting like that, people are bound to be impressed.”
So after six months of tireless practice he felt he was ready to reveal his new hobby to a close friend. She was thrilled and promptly suggested that he launch his career with a performance at the local bondage club. The debut proved to be a great success, thanks in no small part to Patch’s feat of harnessing a small Asian woman to his penis and subsequently lifting her bodily off the ground, suspended from his rather strained member. His career wasn’t mishap-free either, with Patch quickly discovering that lime-based paint has a tendency to eat away at one’s skin. Ouch.
From humble builder and potter to rising (ha, again) celebrity, Patch has since churned out quite an impressive line of penile paintings, typically as lewd in their subject matter as their method of creation. Noteworthy works include George Bush being sodomized by a gigantic bull, and a sinister-looking Gordon Ramsey lopping off his own schlong. Yikes.
Sensationalism aside, Patch is not lacking in artistic skill, and has happily demonstrated his penile prowess on live TV! If you need further proof, consider the fact that his works go for around $3000 each! Of course, as art fundis have well noted, these works are set to appreciate enormously in value, as Pricasso’s equipment won’t last forever. At least he’s not using lime-based paint anymore.
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