Reddit Sex Expert and A Guide to Rape? Ken Hoinsky explains

Reddit Sex Expert and A Guide to Rape? Ken Hoinsky explains

Reddit Sex Expert Ken Hoinsky champions a seduction community of 130,000 strong online members who are all interested in what he calls The Game. He dishes out tips and advice on how to seduce a woman by becoming an expert Pick Up Artist (PUA).

After publishing his seduction tips online, he took the leap and decided to start a KickStarter Campaign aimed at raising enough money to publish a book filled with his pearls of wisdom. The title should be enough to give you an idea of what’s coming: Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women.

If you want to get awesome with women, here are some of Ken Hoinsky’s tips for you:

‘You have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.’

‘Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.’

‘Touch her everywhere, including her arms, legs, throat, face, and breasts. Make her cum with the force of the hammer of Thor. Rock her fucking world.’

‘Personal space is for pussies. I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close!’

‘Practice. This is going to feel really weird and might creep some girls out till you get it right, but WHO CARES.’It’s not difficult to see why the media community is up in arms about Mr Hoinsky and his little book. It reads less like an advice manual for men who can’t pick up women, and more like a guide on how to force yourself on unwilling victims. Media commentators are calling it a guide to rape, and KickStarter publicly apologised for hosting the fundraising campaign, banned future seduction guides or anything similar, and donated $25,000 to an anti sexual violence charity.

But Hoinksy disagrees. He issued a public clarification statement indicating that the media had taken his quotes out of context. ‘If ‘Don’t wait for signs, make the first move’ promotes sexual assault,’ Hoinsky writes, ‘then ‘Kiss the Girl’ from The Little Mermaid was a song about rape.’ Um, yeah Ken – for those men out there who are going to cherry pick sections of your book to read, what do you expect?

It doesn’t matter that the forceful advance approach was taken out of a chapter on having sex and making advances after you manage to get a girl back to your room: it is never a good thing to ‘establish yourself as a LEADER’ and not ask for permission. Having safe sex is all about dialoguing and making sure that you’re both on the same page. The last thing you want to do is put someone in an awkward situation away from her safe space, and force her into guilt and panic because she’s not allowed to have a voice.

Want to read more? You can find a preview of his book here. You can also read his response here where he digs himself into a hole and doesn’t do his cause any favours.

Tatyana Dyachenko
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For the past years, Tatyana has worked as a sex blogger and a relationship advisor. She has been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Teen Vogue. Vice, Tatler, Vanity Fair, and many others. Since 2016, Tatyana has focused on sexology, attended various training courses, participated in international conferences and congresses. “I wish people would address sexual issues in a timely manner! Forget shyness, prejudice and feel free to see a sex doctor for help or advice!” Tanya enjoys pursuing her flare for creativity through modelling, graffiti art, astronomy, and technology.

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