Specifically, what happens to you the psychologist / therapist when the relationship ends?

Specifically, what happens to you the psychologist / therapist when the relationship ends?

This could be an amicable or contentious ending, or anything in between. I’d like to know what your process is for ‘letting go’ of that relationship and any other details you have to share. Also, advice for patients would be great too. 

Relationships sometimes go wrong and breaking up can be overwhelming. For me, if a relationship fails, I first try to learn what is authentic. It begins with when I feel something is not good for myself. I also think of what I want and deserve. Then, I will look for the reasons why I want to leave. After weighing my reasons, and getting convinced that it is time I should act, there is no turning back. I also avoid holding onto mistakes for too long because it can delay my decision. The following are some of the tips I usually advise my clients to use when letting go. But before that, how do you satisfy your decision to leave? See the deal-breakers below;

Communicate

Always start by informing your boundaries, and give consequences in case the involved fails to comply with the agreement. Suppose they change, it is ok. But lack of willingness to change will be up to you to decide whether to sacrifice your needs and stay or not.

Does the relationship help meet your basics consistently

Think about what you will lose for not being in this relationship. If there are big opportunities in the affair but your basics are not met as you expect, then it is time to opt letting go.

How to let go

Create an exit plan

I always tell people to develop a comfortable and achievable strategy that they are sure to stick to. Let it not be something that can make you compromise your plans just because they bought flowers or met your needs to help change your decision. If it is not working, trust your instincts and do what you have to do.

Create enough distance

Getting your space through distance can help accelerate loss of love. You can cut off communication by changing your contacts or blocking them from reaching you. If you cannot do this, do not reply texts, comments, or calls. This way, you can go ahead with your plans without having their memories to take you back.

Elena Ognivtseva
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Nutritionist, Cornell University, MS

I believe that nutrition science is a wonderful helper both for the preventive improvement of health and adjunctive therapy in treatment. My goal is to help people improve their health and well-being without torturing themselves with unnecessary dietary restrictions. I am a supporter of a healthy lifestyle – I play sports, cycle, and swim in the lake all year round. With my work, I have been featured in Vice, Country Living, Harrods magazine, Daily Telegraph, Grazia, Women's Health, and other media outlets.

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