With Fifty Shades of Grey on the scene, people are more keen to try their hand at BDSM than ever, but if all you’re working off is the latest craze in mommy porn, your attempts at spicing up your love life could lead to bedroom antics which are more awkward than arousing. Flogging is a case in point.
A bit of pain with your pleasure sounds like a great idea, but if you’re a total newbie chances are you’re either going to barely tickle your partner or flay them alive. A flogger is in fact, a great entry-level toy for wannabes masters as it’s not a particularly intense toy unless you’re using it wrong and it offers a lot of variance to keep play exciting. It’s all about knowing how to use it though, so with that in mind, here’s two basics to keep in mind next time you’ve got a submissive asking for a bit of punishment.
Warm them up first. A flogger is all about sensation and to get the most out of your toy you’ll want to make sure your sub can really feel what you’re doing with it. The best way to do that is by warming up the area or areas you’ll be beating by gently, and I do mean gently, slapping the flogger over your chosen spot. The skin should visibly redden as the nerve activity is heightened. This has two major pluses to it. Firstly, that area will become especially sensitive after a bit of light spanking so that when you want to give your sub a sharper whack they’ll feel it all the more. Secondly, since you’re not immediately wailing on them, their body has time to adjust which helps prevent bruising.
Vary your strokes. A lot of BDSM newbies think that once they’ve got a flogger in hand it’s time to start whipping their sub’s skin off. It’s worth remembering that unless you’re both into some pretty heavy pleasure-pain play, inflicting any kind of serious pain isn’t the idea here. You’re wanting to give your sub a thrill; make them jump at a bit of a sting, not draw blood. That means varying your strokes and there are a number of techniques for any wannabe dom to learn. These are too numerous to properly get into here, so for now remember to vary the intensity of your hits. Don’t start lashing at them and not stop. This isn’t a torture room. But also don’t go too light on your submissive. If all you’re doing is gentle slaps and tickles with the flogger, they’ll get complacent. Work up a gentle rhythm with your hits then surprise them with a sudden, harder slap to make them gasp and wriggle.
If you’ve got your sub all warmed up and loving the lighter stimulation across their back or bottom but also squirming in anticipation of a sharper spank, you know you’re doing it right.
Sleep specialist
Using the acquired academic and professional experience, I advise patients with various complaints about mental health - depressed mood, nervousness, lack of energy and interest, sleep disorders, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts and anxieties, difficulty concentrating, and stress. In my free time, I love to paint and go on long walks on the beach. One of my latest obsessions is sudoku – a wonderful activity to calm an unease mind.
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