The term ‘sexual intelligence’ is bandied around a lot these days, but what exactly does it mean, and since when does sex have to be an intelligent act?
The truth is, a major part of our enjoyment of sex is based on our perceptions of ourselves and our partners. If you feel fat and frumpy you’re not going to enjoy sex, or even engage in it, but if you feel like a comfortable, energised sex god, you’ll go all night and still want more. And we all want to be energised sex gods, don’t we?
Our sexual intelligence refers to the way we think about sex and the way we think about ourselves, sexually. It allows us to express ourselves the way we want to and to embrace a better sex life. You’ll know that when you’re having a bad time at work that carries over into the bedroom too and you just don’t feel up to a rollicking good time in the sack. Getting in touch with your sexual intelligence allows you to channel your opinions and ideas, and to harness your energy. Think about not what you are, but what you want to be: you’re a sexy pleasure-giver and you’re here to enjoy yourself. Stop focussing on what you look like and what’s wrong, and start enjoying what you feel like and what’s right to soon learn what it’s like to have better sex.
And the perfect place to start? Why, with the talking – of course.
Say it enough and you’ll start to believe it. Words are powerful things. If you’re letting other people’s words affect the way you feel about yourself then it’s time you took control and focussed on spicing up your bedroom banter. Not only does it make your sexual encounters more pleasurable: you’ll notice immediately that it affects your self-confidence, your attitude and your enjoyment of life in general.
Embrace your sexual intelligence and start by focussing on a confident new you by telling them what you want to do with them. Do you want to tie them up and make them writhe in pleasure? Tell them! Do you want to switch off all the lights and tantalisingly lick their inner thigh? Whisper it in your partner’s ear and see how wild it drives them.
Suddenly, when you’re not so focussed on what’s going wrong, there’s a lot that’s going right. Opening your mind to new experiences of yourself is just one step towards opening up yourself to new sexual experiences with your partner. Keep up your playful talk and see how it transforms your bedroom playtime into a night of ecstasy.
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