WHAT TO DO IF YOU LIKE GIRLS BUT YOU

WHAT TO DO IF YOU LIKE GIRLS BUT YOU’RE NOT TOTALLY SURE

Feeling unsure about your sexual preferences is not an uncommon feeling.

Spend some time thinking about a women that you like. Now imagine what it would feel like to kiss her, touch her and even have sex with her. How do you feel about that? Do you feel excited or do you feel uncomfortable? If you feel excitement then it’s likely that you could be a lesbian, bisexual or pansexual.

Now think of a man that you are attracted to. Imagine what it would be like to kiss, touch or have sex with him. How so you feel about that? If you can’t think of a single man that you’re attracted to then you have your answer. If you feel excited about both the male and female then it’s likely that you are either bisexual or pansexual.

The truth is that if you’re already questioning your sexuality then there’s a high chance that you are either a lesbian, bisexual or pansexual. Most people that completely identify as heterosexual don’t question it. The only way you will ever know for sure though is to test the theory which believe me can be a daunting prospect.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself if you are questioning your sexual orientation:

Do I feel physical attraction towards members of the same sex?

Do I feel sexual attraction towards members of my own sex? 

Would I like to kiss a girl?

In reality there is no ‘Am I Gay?’ test that you need to pass. It doesn’t work like that. You feel how you feel and you don’t have to feel a certain way to fit in with a certain group.

When I first started getting feeling for women instead of men I was terrified. I was worried about what my parents would say, how my friends would react and how I would even begin to go about finding a female to kiss let alone have a relationship with. Luckily we live in an age where sexual preferences are more accepted.

My top tip for finding a women to date is to put yourself out there. She is not going to magically appear on your doorstep. Get on lesbian or bi dating apps and find LGBTQ+ meet ups in your area and go along. I met my girlfriend by attending an event for active women who enjoy outdoor pursuits. There are always opportunities to meet new people if you put yourself out there.

TikTok have a great lesbian community on it. Get on there and start chatting with people. Leave nice comments on their posts and get a conversation going. I have several friends that have meet their now partners though TikTok and best of all it’s free! 

If after meeting up with a few women you start top feel that perhaps you’re not a lesbian that’s okay. You’re allowed to change your mind. You have to experience new things in order to know what you like and don’t like, That’s the whole point of life.

Ieva Kubiliute
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Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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