WHY ULTIMATUMS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT A GOOD IDEA

WHY ULTIMATUMS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT A GOOD IDEA

I feel ultimatums are not good for a healthy relationship. For instance, bigger commitments involving getting married may not offer enough bonding time and growth to the point where your partner will get emotionally ready for it. Forcing them may deny the chance to know about their strengths and values. Some may even feel threatened and pretend to please you.

Ultimatums can make a partner feel trapped and tensed, leaving them with resentment feeling. You may also miss negotiating powers in your relationship due to lack of compromise. The best option may be preparing to leave the relationship because if you stay, chances are they may take you for granted in the future.

I usually tell my clients to avoid ultimatums by having open and efficient communication with their partners. Talk about what your future holds and understand each other’s stand on crucial matters. This way, an ultimatum will be unnecessary to determine whether your partner can meet your needs or not. Perhaps the issue may be too much for you and after a deeper discussion about it and nothing seems favorable, it may be time to consider moving on, as you allow them to think over it.

Ieva Kubiliute

Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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