Why Women Engage in Anal Intercourse

Why Women Engage in Anal Intercourse

One of the most amusing things about anal sex within heterosexual couples is to notice how eager the men are about it and how suspicious women are. One could say that the more eager the men, the less enthusiastic the women. Truth is that women have good reasons to be suspicious because many men are not willing to wait for their partners to be ready for this big step and start poking around the anus without permission. This kind of initiatives is not particularly good at building trust between lovers. Men should learn to be patient and press their case gently and with good arguments.

Women are far more conscious about their personal hygiene than men and so are less open to the idea of anal sex because they tend to associate it with something very dirty. This view is common among many people, who simply can’t understand why anybody would be interested in mixing sex and the anus. Aside from the potential of getting dirty, women are also scared of the potential pain. We all know that the anus is a tight canal, far tighter than the vagina which is built to allow penetration. Thus, the idea of having a penis stuck up their rectums sounds thrilling, but for all the wrong reasons.

Another big problem for women is the complete lack of control. They can’t see what the men do back there and are simply helpless to stop the situation from going bad, should it so happen. Nobody likes to be thrust into such a situation and women are not an exception to this rule. To this we could also add the fact that there is no guarantee of an orgasm. While men are almost certain of getting their kicks once the penis is in, the woman has no idea if the pain will ever be passing and leave the stage to something like pleasure. Enduring all the pain and having none of the fun is downright bad.

On the other hand, women are just as eager as men to explore new things and learn more about their bodies. The fact that many heterosexual couples are into anal sex counts for something. At least some of those women who are willing to let the men play with their anuses must be getting something good out of the whole thing. Women are just as curious about this as men are, if not more. The pain may be inevitable at start, but what if there’s something awesome on the other side? A lot of people think that risks are generally worth taking and anal sex fits the pattern perfectly: some risk, a lot of potential fun.

What men need to do is to make the women’s feelings paramount. They must start slow; playing a little with the buttocks and caressing them is a good idea. After this, they can move to inserting a finger in the anus and trying to get the sphincter to relax. And only upon completing these preliminary steps should they go ahead with applying a lot of lubrication and going for the real thing. And guys, if the lady says “Stop”, you stop. No “but”, no “oh, come on, I’m nearly there”. You just stop and ask her if she wants you to pull out. Don’t rush things. Sooner or later you will get there, because they want it, too.

Barbara is a freelance writer and a sex and relationships adviser at Dimepiece LA and Peaches and Screams. Barbara is involved in various educational initiatives aimed at making sex advice more accessible to everyone and breaking stigmas around sex across various cultural communities. In her spare time, Barbara enjoys trawling through vintage markets in Brick Lane, exploring new places, painting and reading.

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