Abesifazane Nocansi Olungavamile: Akukona Okucabangayo

Sonke sinemibono engaphambili mayelana nocansi oluvamile - kanye nempi yobulili. Amadoda, siyazi, avulekele kuwo. Mangaki amadoda abenqaba isithembiso sokuya ocansini nje nomuntu wesifazane abambheka ekhanga? Ababaningi kakhulu. Ucansi olungenazintambo lufana nokudla ikhekhe ngaphandle kokukhuluphala: kuhle kakhulu ukuba yiqiniso.

Amadoda afundiswa ukugcina amaphuzu ezindlini zawo zobusuku obubodwa njengamanotshi esigxotsheni sokulala ngenxa yemithombo yezindaba edumile (cabanga: Amafilimu entsha yaseMelika kanye “nohambo olusabekayo lwehlazo” nganoma iyiphi intombazane engasoli lutho ezithola isendlini yokulala yalensizwa) kanye nezimo zengqondo zanamuhla maqondana ucansi. Amadoda anabalingani bocansi abaningi kanye nezindlwana zobusuku obubodwa bangabadlali. Abesifazane abakwenzayo bangamahule.

Kodwa, ingabe ngamadoda kuphela ahlanganyela ubulili nje? Ingabe abesifazane bawubulili obuhle, nokuncane ukuhlangana okuvamile ngenjongo yokwanelisa ubulili?

Akunjalo, kusho uTerri Conley, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eNyuvesi yaseMichigan. Ngemva kocwaningo olunzulu nokubuza imibuzo, uConley uthole ukuthi “uma abesifazane bethulwa ngabasiki bengqephu abalinganayo mayelana nokuphepha namandla ocansini, bayoba nethuba elilinganayo lokuhlanganyela ubulili njengamadoda.”

Abesifazane, uTerri Conley uyaphikisana, bafana namadoda. Bobabili ubulili bushukunyiswa ukufuna injabulo lapho bengena “enkundleni yobulili.” Bafuna ukwanelisa izifiso zabo, futhi ubulili obuvamile bungabanikeza ukukhululwa abakufunayo. Ukuthi nje abesifazane mancane amathuba okuthi baneliseke ngokuhlangana kwesikhashana, uConley uphawula, futhi bayakwazi.

Ngokwesilinganiso, abesifazane bajabulela kakhulu ucansi nabalingani ababaziyo, ababathandayo nabamethembayo. Isici “esingaziwa” singase sivuleleke kwabesilisa, kodwa kwabesifazane, kungaphezu kokucisha. Abesifazane bakhululekile kakhulu nomlingani wesikhathi eside, ngakho-ke bamukela kakhulu isipiliyoni kanye nenjabulo.

Ucwaningo lukaConley lwathola ukuthi uma ususa izici ezingaziwa neziguquguqukayo, futhi unikeza abesifazane inketho yokuya ocansini nje okuvamile okuphephile futhi okujabulisayo (ngokwesibonelo, noHugh Jackman noma u-Orlando Bloom), bayamukeleka njengamadoda.

UConley uveza ukuthi izinto azihambi ngendlela ebesilindele ukuthi zibe yikho. Uthi, lolu cwaningo “lusikisela ukuthi abesifazane bafana kakhulu namadoda endleleni abasabela ngayo lapho beya ocansini nje ngaphandle kwalokho obekungalindelwe ekuqaleni.”

Umbhali
Okuthunyelwe kwakamuva

UMonica Wasserman

Udokotela kanye Nombhali Ozimele at shopgiejo.com

U-Monika Wassermann ungudokotela futhi ungumbhali ozimele ozinze e-UK ohlala nekati lakhe uBuddy. Ubhala kuwo wonke ama-verticals amaningana, okuhlanganisa impilo, impilo, ubulili nothando, ubudlelwano nokuqina. Izithandwa zakhe ezintathu ezinhle amanoveli ama-Victorian, ukudla kwaseLebanon, nezimakethe zakudala. Uma engabhali, ungamthola ezama ukuzindla kakhulu, ephakamisa izinsimbi, noma ezulazula edolobheni.

Okuthunyelwe kwakamuva kuka-Monika Wasserman (bona konke)