Ngicabanga ukuthi kuphephile ukucabanga ukuthi sonke sifuna ukwenza ucansi olumnandi, futhi ukuya ocansini oluhle kusho ukuyigcina ihlanzekile ekamelweni akunjalo? Kulungile. Ikholomu yezeluleko zothando yewebhusayithi yethu ye-gossip mag noma i-scandal ngokuvamile inamaparele athile okuhlakanipha kuleso sihloko, kodwa izingulube ezikhanukelayo esiyizo, kufanelekile ukuthi sime kancane ukuze sihlole ukuthi muhle kangakanani umbono esikufundayo. Ngoba ngenkathi umuntu ekwazi ukucosha amathiphu ajabulisayo kukholomu ye-sex trawling (angikaze ngicabange ngokuqabula eqhweni noma ukudlala umoya ngenye indlela), miningi imibono yocansi emibi ngempela laphaya. Nalu uhlu lwezeluleko ezihlekisayo zocansi engihlangabezane nazo.
Lapho unika ikhanda, bopha izinwele zakho emuva ngentambo yakho: Lokhu akuheheki nakancane. Uma kukhona into embi kakhulu. Lokho bekuphakathi kwezinqe zami usuku lonke; Angifuni ikakhulukazi izinwele zami ngiyabonga.
Ngaphambi kokunikeza ikhanda, phuza amanzi ashisayo ngempela futhi uwabambe emlonyeni wakho: Ngaphandle kwengozi esobala yokushisa i-shaft yakhe nolimi lwakho, ingabe umlomo wakho awushisi ngokwanele njengoba unjalo?
Ngesikhathi unika ikhanda, bamba i-ice cube emlonyeni wakho bese ulihambisa eduze kwe-shaft yakhe: Kusukela ekushiseni kuya kubanda okuqandayo. Amazinyo akho angase aqale ukuqaqamba futhi ubudoda bakhe buyoshwabana ngenxa yokwesaba izinkonzo zakho ezibandayo. Umbono omubi nje.
Mhlikihle umhlane wakhe ngephini eligoqayo: Umbono lapha ukuthi lawo mafindo anenkani emhlane wesilisa azosabela kahle ekucindezelekeni okukhulu. Ukuhlola okwangempela, maningi amathuba okuthi uzolimaza indoda yakho kunokumnika imassage egculisayo.
Mbophe umzimba wakhe ngezingubo zokulala ukuze angakwazi ukunyakaza, bese uqabula yonke iyintshi yomzimba wakhe obala: Ngokujulile? Uma usebugqilini kunezindlela eziphumelela kakhulu (kanye nezinhle kakhulu) zokufeza into efanayo. Uma ungenjalo, khona-ke ukuboshwa ngokungalindelekile emashidini akho ombhede kuyinto esabekayo.
Slip idonadi lendandatho ebudodeni bakhe bese uyinqamula: Futhi! Akuwona wonke umuntu one-fetish yokudla! Nakuba abanye abantu becabanga ukuthi i-custard iyisengezo esihle kunoma iyiphi i-sexcapade, akuwona wonke umuntu ofuna i-confectionary noma kuphi eduze nezitho zabo zangasese.
Egunjini elimnyama, sebenzisa isibani ukuze kukhanye lapho ofuna ukuthi akhothe noma akuphulule: Umbono omuhle kodwa oyisiphukuphuku ekusebenzeni. Kuzodingeka ume isikhashana injabulo yakho njalo ngemva kwemizuzu embalwa ukuze uqondise kabusha ukunaka kwakhe ngokukhanya, ngokuvamile uzisonta wena ezindaweni eziyinqaba ukuze wenze kanjalo. Kulula ukuvele ukhombe futhi ububule ngendlela eyela ngasocansini.
Gxumela esifubeni sethoyizi lengane yakho lapho ingekho ekhaya futhi udlale izinguqulo zemicu yemidlalo yazo: Ingabe lokhu kuyidinga ngempela incazelo? Kungaphezu kokuthusa kancane into eyodwa, futhi ningabashadikazi abadala. Kufanele ukwazi ukukhokhela awakho amathoyizi.
Futhi intandokazi yami siqu.
Pholisa isikhwama samamabula bese uwaphonsa embhedeni ngaphambi kocansi: Vele, hawu. Lokhu kufana nokuhlukunyezwa kwekamelo lokulala kunokuziphatha okuvusa inkanuko.
Ezweni lanamuhla, indlela yabantu yokudla nokuzivocavoca isishintshile, futhi ngokuvamile yindlela yokuphila eyimbangela yezifo eziningi ezihlobene nokudla. Ngikholelwa ukuthi ngamunye wethu uhlukile - okusebenza komunye akumsizi omunye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungaba yingozi. Nginesithakazelo ku-psychology yokudla, ecwaninga ubuhlobo bomuntu nomzimba wabo nokudla, ichaza ukukhetha kwethu nezifiso zemikhiqizo ethile, ubunzima bokugcina isisindo somzimba esiphezulu, kanye nomthelela wezici ezihlukahlukene zangaphakathi nezangaphandle ekuphambeni ukudla. Futhi ngingumqoqi wezimoto zakudala oshisekayo, futhi njengamanje, ngisebenza ngeMercedes yami yango-1993 iW124. Kungenzeka ukuthi uye wathola izihloko engike ngavezwa kuzo, ngokwesibonelo, kwethi Cosmopolitan, Elle, Grazia, Women’s Health, The Guardian, nezinye.
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