The Reluctant Girl's Guide to Anal

The Reluctant Girl’s Guide to Anal

One aspect of sex between a man and a woman which has always confused me is the obsession heterosexual men seem to have with anal. I have always wondered why they feel they must stick something in there while they already have ready access to another much prettier orifice; the vagina. I am told that men see anal sex as more of a challenge; the vagina is freely available but having anal sex is something to aim for as most women won’t offer this hole as an option. It also feels a bit more wrong and dirtybut in a good way! If done correctly anal sex can be extremely pleasurable for both partners but it takes a fair bit of ground work.

Now let’s get one thing straight; anal sex is extremely uncomfortable for a woman when she first attempts it and can even become painful if she is tense or is expecting to feel pain. What is vitally important is that if the woman feels any discomfort beyond what she believes will fade after a few seconds the experiment with anal must stop immediately. If she experiences pain she will be more tense next time her partner suggests anal, leading to more pain and the vicious cycle continues until she flat out refuses to continue experimenting. You do not want to fall into this trap because it is very difficult to get out of it.

Below I have listed a few tips which will help make a woman’s first foray into anal sex less stressful and which may lead you down the road toward actually enjoying it! You’re welcome boys!

Lube, glorious lube!

First of all lube is your best friend when it comes to anal sex; the more lube you use the more likely she will enjoy the experiment and will be able to sit down afterwards! If you think you’ve used enough add a bit more.

Start with a finger:

Don’t dive in all guns blazing; take it slow and use your finger first and get her used to the sensation. It’s probably not a feeling she has experienced before and it can feel very strange at first. Move the finger around gentle and begin to stretch the opening slightly. Trimmed nails only please guys!

Move onto small toys and gradually increase the size:

Once she is used to your finger move onto a small toy and allow her to get used to that. She may want to stop at this point as she may be experiencing some discomfort. Be understanding and don’t pressure her to continue. Doing this will only end your experimentation forever! Come back to anal another time and work up slowly to larger toys.

Introduce the penis!

Following on from penis sized toys it is time to introduce the real thing. If she has managed ok with a large toy she should be able to take an average sized penis with little trouble, but remember the lube for both of your sakes. Try not to trust too much until she says it’s ok. Give yourself and her a big pat on the back!

Monika Wasserman
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Monika Wassermann is a doctor and a freelance writer based in the UK who lives with her cat Buddy. She writes across several verticals, including life, health, sex and love, relationships and fitness. Her three great loves are Victorian novels, Lebanese cuisine, and vintage markets. When she’s not writing, you can find her trying to meditate more, weightlifting, or wandering around in town.

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