Feel-Good Sensations Put An End To Our Sex Fears

Have you ever felt uncomfortable or unsexy leading up to sex? Have you ever panicked or turned completely off because you’re more worried about lumpy thighs than how good something feels? You’re not alone. Statistically speaking, more than 60% of women engaging in sex are worried about the way they look, their weight, and their overall self-image which prevents them from enjoying sex.

There are a number of exercise programs that can help you look good in the bedroom and there are plenty of self-help books and articles available to help you train your brain and think about the things that matter (for example, read our article on How Confidence Covers the Wobbly Bits!) – but at the end of the day, they all have one thing in common: we women just think too darn much.

It’s true! While we’re agonising over our wobbly bits or our bingo wings, our over-analysis covers up the physical pleasure and enjoyment inherent in sex. Not least of all, wouldn’t it be wonderful to experience a complete ‘shut down’ of our self-evaluation and over-reasoning to simply focus on everything that’s good about sex? Well – you’re in for a treat. Because that’s exactly what happens during an orgasm.

Science shows that feel-good sensations completely put an end to our sex fears. How so, you ask? It’s simple: through detailed observation and analysis, researchers can prove that brain activity during an orgasm is significantly different from a normal state for men and women. For both genders, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex is turned off during orgasm – that’s the centre for reason, control and self-evaluation and criticism. In addition to this, our centre for fear and anxiety is shut down and we experience a complete relaxation of emotions.

For some of us lucky ladies, that complete relaxation can last for 20 seconds, and can be repeated time and time again through multiple orgasms. After orgasm, we experience a deep physical relaxation and our brains are stimulated to crave the feeling again which leads to more feel-good time and fewer sex fears.

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Ieva Kubiliute

Psychologist and a Sex and Relationships Advisor at shopgiejo.com

Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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