Is he just not into you?

Is he just not into you?

You know when you just get an epiphany? When you’re just going along doing what you always do when something just jumps out at you and changes everything? We can all connect the dots right back to that time or day or thing that someone says to you, that you catch a glimpse of, sometimes not even realizing it at the time – but later, sometime later it comes back to you and shifts everything.

Well that has happened to me in oddest of occasions. One of the more recent ones that keeps coming back again and again came to me in an unexpected way – through a Hollywood ‘b’ movie – “He’s just not that into you.”

At first, I was just watching with not too much interest, but then amongst all the Hollywoodness, I realized there was something very profound being said. Then it was like a light bulb went off and I realized … right, if he’s just not that into you and the signs are very clear you should just bolt as soon as you can.

And if you are in a relationship where the signs are very clear but you are continuing to ignore them, then it’s time to wake up and walk out. There is absolutely no reason in the world that is worth giving of your precious time and energy to someone who is not worthy of you.

No matter how you think being lonely is worse, you are wrong. You know what it’s like when you have the expectation that your partner is going to do the most basic of things, like call when they say they will, be on time, care about what is going on with you – and when that doesn’t happen, it’s annoying, painful, and upsetting.

So just don’t put yourself through any of that. Stand tall and declare that you deserve nothing but love, kindness, respect, and caring. You deserve to be taken care of, being cared for, being asked at the end of a brutal day what can be done to make things better.

If you are feeling alone even with that person who is supposed to be your life mate is sitting right next to you, then ask yourself why? Why are you sacrificing months, or even years of your life for anything less than the best? Are you not deserving of happiness?

Well, the short answer is yes you are. And if the one that you are determined to pawn over, cook for, clean for, attend to, is not giving you at least the same or more in return then you need to look at that. If he’s not returning your calls, doesn’t check in, doesn’t have the same feelings as you do then it’s plain and simple what you have to do – move on.

Don’t waste your time. Don’t expect things to change. Don’t set yourself up for even more disappointment than you’ve already suffered with.

Find a man who adores you. You don’t deserve any less.

Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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