Playing Away - Deal Breaker or Minor Bump on the Road to Bliss?

Playing Away – Deal Breaker or Minor Bump on the Road to Bliss?

The term ‘playing away’ refers to the act of being sexually unfaithful to your partner, wife or husband. Obviously cheating is seen as a terrible and often unforgiveable crime, by my question is; does cheating automatically mark the end of a relationship, or can a couple ever survive infidelity unscathed?

First of all let’s look at the statistics. According to one extramarital dating agency 3% off the UK population admit to cheating at least once during their current relationship with the most unfaithful people residing in Devon (47% infidelity!) and Avon (19%).

From the stats above it is clear that cheating is a big issue within the modern relationship and is cited as the main reason for divorce in 41% of cases. But does it automatically herald the end of your relationship or marriage? If you are reading this as your partner has cheated on you then you are likely feeling a whole host of emotions – hurt, anger, confusion, resentment, betrayal and hopelessness to name but a few. If you are reading this and you are the one who has cheated your emotional state will probably be much the same with the added feeling of guilt. If you’re not feeling hurt or guilty then this article is not for you.

If you believe that your relationship is worth saving then there are a few steps which you can take to try and salvage your situation. Let’s begin by tackling the situation from the cheaters point of view…

First of all, obviously you need to end the affair! This could be easier said than done as you may have formed an emotional attachment to the third party following months or even years of cheating. However, for the good of your relationship with your partner, husband or wife you must sever ALL contact with the third part immediately. Next you need to restore your partner’s trust in you. It is almost certain that they feel they cannot trust you anymore, and who can blame them? What you did is probably the worst thing anyone in a committed relationship can do, so work hard and stick at it. You’ve got a great deal to prove.

If you are in the unfortunate position of having been cheated on then my heart goes out to you. If you decide (and it is 100% YOUR decision) to give the cheating scallywag another chance then you must remain vigilant. Don’t accept treatment that is anything less than worship! They betrayed your trust and everything that your relationship stands for and they must work hard to regain your affection. If they can’t be bothered to make the effort to apologize and attempt to make things right then they aren’t worth your energy or your tears. Take a look at this great eHow article for tips on working through infidelity and restoring lost trust.

Mental health expert
MS, University of Latvia

I am deeply convinced that each patient needs a unique, individual approach. Therefore, I use different psychotherapy methods in my work. During my studies, I discovered an in-depth interest in people as a whole and the belief in the inseparability of mind and body, and the importance of emotional health in physical health. In my spare time, I enjoy reading (a big fan of thrillers) and going on hikes.

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