How to Spot a Selfish Guy Early On

If your partner does the following, chances are they are selfish.

They Want Conversations to Be About Them

A selfish partner will want all the attention for themselves. They will want to be the main subject in every conversation because they think their feelings and image are bigger than your character. During conversations, they may not give you an ear unless they benefit.

They Act Defensive Most of the Time

Mistakes happen in a relationship. While we all want someone to realize and accept their mistakes, that rarely happens with a selfish partner. A selfish partner will act defensive even when it’s clear they messed up. Surprisingly, they can dump the blame on you and make you feel guilty.

They Don’t Care Whether You Are Sexually Satisfied

If you can’t remember the last time you had an orgasm, something might be a miss. It means you are giving more while receiving less. To me, everyone in a relationship deserves a chance at orgasm. If you always ensure your partner is sexually satisfied while they don’t care whether you are on the same page, chances are they are selfish.

How to Deal with A Selfish Boyfriend

Once you find out your boyfriend is selfish, you deal with them in many ways, including;

  • Focusing on your needs and hobbies to raise your value
  • Encouraging them to change and telling them how abandoning the behaviour can transform your relationship
  • Abandoning the one-sided relationship if they resist change

Negative Side Effects of Dating a Selfish Partner

Dating a selfish partner leads to a one-sided relationship, which is never healthy. When your partner is selfish, you may harbour resentment and disappointment, which can sabotage can sabotage even a relationship.

Julia Davis

Mental health expert
MS, University of Latvia

I am deeply convinced that each patient needs a unique, individual approach. Therefore, I use different psychotherapy methods in my work. During my studies, I discovered an in-depth interest in people as a whole and the belief in the inseparability of mind and body, and the importance of emotional health in physical health. In my spare time, I enjoy reading (a big fan of thrillers) and going on hikes.

Anastasia Filipenko is a health and wellness psychologist, dermatolist and a freelance writer. She frequently covers beauty and skincare, food trends and nutrition, health and fitness and relationships. When she's not trying out new skincare products, you'll find her taking a cycling class, doing yoga, reading in the park, or trying a new recipe.

Ieva Kubiliute is a psychologist and a sex and relationships advisor and a freelance writer. She's also a consultant to several health and wellness brands. While Ieva specialises in covering wellness topics ranging from fitness and nutrition, to mental wellbeing, sex and relationships and health conditions, she has written across a diverse range of lifestyle topics, including beauty and travel. Career highlights so far include: luxury spa-hopping in Spain and joining an £18k-a-year London gym. Someone’s got to do it! When she’s not typing away at her desk—or interviewing experts and case studies, Ieva winds down with yoga, a good movie and great skincare (affordable of course, there’s little she doesn’t know about budget beauty). Things that bring her endless joy: digital detoxes, oat milk lattes and long country walks (and sometimes jogs).

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